this is what i do now

i was going to make this two posts but then i decided to save my energy. and this is more a reminder for myself. so i don't go crazy.


i have learned:
-that if i want something done i will do it myself
-to say what i want to say
-to say what needs to be said
-you can't and change people if they're not willing to try.
-to not let my own happiness depend on the happiness of others
-not to ignore the truth
-that people are just people. mainly highschool people. so you can't get upset when they act immaturely or don't do what you want. you just have to accept that that's how people are and move on with your life
-that there is always some good that comes out of bad things


I'm tired of people not saying what they mean and lying. and if something is wrong dont mope at me, please. if you want to talk about it, talk about it and i will do my best to help you feel better, but if you're not going to then don't just sit around and be mopey. you can fix it and talk to people about it and make yourself feel better or you can bottle it up. do whatever you want just dont bring others down with you. don't pretend you're something that you're not. if you really want to change, you will change. but if you dont you wont its that simple. everyone goes through hard things and everyone has tons of people that care about them enough to help them overcome those things. its just a matter of how you look at it and how strong you are.

there is always a good side. you just have to be willing to see it.

right now it might be hard. but it always gets easier.

Things people should know about me:

-sometimes i can be selfish and i know it
-sometimes i can act like a 5 year old
-other times i act like a 60 year old
-most of the time i find a happy medium
-despite my optimistic nature, i have lived, and i have had my struggles. whatever struggles a 15 year old living here can have.
-i don't always put others first, but i do always consider how my actions will affect them
-i love to laugh, smile, giggle and everything in between
-usually when i am sad there is a valid reason
-i am a little bit crazy
-okay really crazy
-i always try to see the best in people. unless those people happen to be tyree or avery
-i am not racist
-i am, however stupid evil obnoxious people-ist
-i am a fairly confident person
-i am almost never 100% sure of myself
-i am very indecisive
-i am always up for a hugs and kisses from those i love
-i am a very hands on person
-i don't change for anyone but myself
-but i will listen if someone thinks a change needs to be made
-sometimes i love a little too much
-i never had very close friends until 2 years ago
-i no longer let people treat me like a doormat
-i am very much a committment kind of person
-i am pro-choice
-i am agnostic
-i love when people ask me to burn them CD's, it just takes me a while to get around to it
-i am always here to listen, i just can't always garuntee that i will be able to help
-i really really do love and care about all of you more than you could ever know