She Knows Shes Losin It
Just to let all of you know, this post is pretty much only for me to vent. you might get tired of it.
i'm so fucking tired of being second best to lauren.
today was possibly the worst day ever. Right before i got out of the car for earlybird my mom gave me the pleasant *cough* message that KK thinks i hate him for some reason, and so she's angry at me and i can't go anywhere this weekend.
I SUCKED at the band concert last night. I'm ashamed. and embarassed. i feel like i let everyone down. my god i was horrible.
And then Lauren got Mabel. I'm Kate which is a decent part, and is what i was aiming for to begin with, but then i found out i was being considered for Mabel, and after callbacks i knew it was pretty much between me and lauren, and i knew i probably wasnt going to get it because lauren looks the part and stuff, but otherwise we're pretty much the same person. And i'm satisfied with the part i got, and Lauren more than deserved Mabel, but it's like i had the part put right in front of me, and then it was taken away. schmeh. whatev. i just have to get used to being in lauren's shadow.
All of this put together = Cavya freaking out at school and pretty much completely losing it. I went to the nurse to avoid band. Ha. But honestly, i don't think i could have handeled hearing how awful i was again.
i'm so fucking tired of being second best to lauren.
today was possibly the worst day ever. Right before i got out of the car for earlybird my mom gave me the pleasant *cough* message that KK thinks i hate him for some reason, and so she's angry at me and i can't go anywhere this weekend.
I SUCKED at the band concert last night. I'm ashamed. and embarassed. i feel like i let everyone down. my god i was horrible.
And then Lauren got Mabel. I'm Kate which is a decent part, and is what i was aiming for to begin with, but then i found out i was being considered for Mabel, and after callbacks i knew it was pretty much between me and lauren, and i knew i probably wasnt going to get it because lauren looks the part and stuff, but otherwise we're pretty much the same person. And i'm satisfied with the part i got, and Lauren more than deserved Mabel, but it's like i had the part put right in front of me, and then it was taken away. schmeh. whatev. i just have to get used to being in lauren's shadow.
All of this put together = Cavya freaking out at school and pretty much completely losing it. I went to the nurse to avoid band. Ha. But honestly, i don't think i could have handeled hearing how awful i was again.
posted by Cellar door at
6:30 PM
4 Comments:
You weren't any worse than Mathias and I were.
Oh, hon. I think you're great :-)
i have a new bloooog!!!!
I know I'm a little bit late, but I hear you, honey. I was pretty damn bummed out too. And you got a bigger part than I did, so it's all good! I'm proud of you (you rock out loud as Kate). I'm praying I don't have to fill in for you b/c everybody would be like, "Omg...Cavya is sooooo much better than her." I kid you not.
*big hugz*
Lauren
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