So, KK has started waking up and can sometimes show physically that he knows you are there. that is good.

He also has pnumonea and an infection in an eye. they had to sew it shut (temporarily, hopefully). that is not so good.

That's all really. I think I found my OD for speech.

-cavyrr

So i saw KK. He's not so bad until you look at his face. he broke all the bones in his face except for his jaw, i think. And his eyes are pretty much swollen shut and he might lose one eye. But almost all the fractures in his pelvis and femur are in-line so they dont need to put him in a cast (except a pin in his femur) or anthing they're just letting it heal on it's own.

My cousin says im in denial.

I think the phrase "How are you doing?" has become my least favorite phrase in the entire english language. I get asked that at least 5 times a day. and its not like i mind people asking it, its just that, well, what am i supposed to say? No? i can't say im not okay because then they would get all concerned and i don't enjoy that. So i usually just end up saying "Eh....okay..." and feeling stupid. Whatever. ALright.

im visiting KK today. Apparently they took him off all the paralyzing medicine so it's going to be really hard to see him. I'll update when i get back.

Whoops. I almost forgot.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Since I will be at M's for thanksgiving....

I am thankful that everyone in my family who should be alive is alive. And i am thankful for every moment that they stay alive.

Let me explain something before you read the next post. I don't want to see KK. I don't want to see him because for some odd reason i can't bring myself to. i'm not being horrible bitchy little teenage girl and saying that i would rather spend time with friends than visit my brother who is in critical condition. I am just keeping myself preoccupied so that i can at least try and be normal for as long as i can.

Just thought i would explain to you (and me, in a way).

KK and my little cousin Aria(the one with brain cancer :( ) at Redwoods National Park.




I feel bad still hanging out with my friends and being normal. I feel like I should be sitting around worrying. I feel like a horrible person for not seeing him yet, because i don't want to. and that makes me feel even worse.

they said it would be a miracle if he makes it through this week.

What if sunday afternoon was the last time i ever got to talk to him? What if i never get to see him again? He was an asshole alot of the time, but i love him, and if, well, if he dies, i don't know what i'll do.

they said it would be a miracle if he makes it through this week.

those words have been going through my head non stop for the last few days.

If ever there was a time when i believed in god, this would be it.

So even if you don't believe in god or whatever, please pray for him.


I sound so corny.

I can't talk to my famiy about this. I just get angry. I know im just being bitchy and not making it any easier but i can't help it.

Is that horrible of me?

I am staying at M's tonight, and seeing KK tomorrow. He has to get better. He has to make it through this. Because if he doesn't, everything will fall apart.

I don't mean to get all depressed teenager on you, because that was so last year. I am better now. and I need to stay better.

they said it would be a miracle if he makes it through this week.

My brother KK is in the hospital. He was in a pretty serious car accident and will be in and out of surgery for the next few months. He won't be able to walk for a while. Please, even if you don't know or like him, wish him the best.

-cavyrr

Merciful Christ. My cat needs some bean-o.
-Bunny McIntosh

Blargh.
My days are boring and predictable.

I'm seeing Harry Potter at midnight tonight. It's going to suck, because books are always better than movies, but that's alright.

-cavyrr

So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love-loving the loving of things whose existence she didn't care at all about. Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving. and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for. It was not the world that was the great and saving lie, but her willingness to make it beautiful and fair, to live a once-removed life, in a world once-removed from the one in which everyone else seemed to exist.

-John Safran Foer
Everything is Illuminated

Yesterday was so good. Peter Gray is beautful, and the show was wonderful, and the food was wonderful.

Today, however, not so good. My mom decided to throw a fit. So, I waited until she left for the store because I was mad at her, then I did everything she asked (or rather, yelled at me) me to do, and now I am waiting for M to come pick me up because I think if I don't get out of this house for a little bit I will go INSANE. But she is an hour late, that whore.

-cavyrr

Don't eat tampons. They will expand in your throat.

(And you will choke to death, but you won't die)

Guess what? Today is friday and i am so fucking happy.

Yesterday I had so many thoughts to post but i didn't post any of them. Now i can't remeber what they were.

I've been having many weird dreams lately...one involved a rhino chasing me at the beach and a very stylish and large shoe closet...there was also some people being possesed tossed in there...you're just aching to know more aren't you? I thought so.

Vocal Jazz today. I'm happy.

-cavyrr

Ah. There's nothing like eating mac and cheese, putting henna on people and watching Freddy do all the scary things in Zelda for you.

Yesterday was a good day.

I'm in Tech Apps, what now bitches? I have Limelight tonight :D ...Alright, bye.

Don't you hate it when you realize that you pretty much have nothing in common with a person who is one of your best friends? I certainly hate it. It's that 'comfort friend' thing. You've been friends with them forever, but you don't really have anything in common, but you still want to be best friends with them because its comforting to know that they're always there. Hmph.

I'm going to have to mooch off M for rides to Limelight pretty much all the fucking time now because another person quit at my mom's store. Ah well. I will not quit though! I refuse. So there.

Apocolypse

When Robert Deniro plays The Pope, you know the world is ending.

While I'm on the subject of the world ending...
With all these natural disasters occuring every other fucking second...My theory is it's the apocolypse. So pray that god will take you...and even if he doesn't, you'll have the you'll have rest of us sinners down here.

Limelight started, and I'm happy.