after many months of me procrastinating, i give you...my buzznet! it's still under construction, seeing as how i still have pictures from fall frenzy on the camera.

He'll Kick You Apart.

george washington

This is my favorite video, EVER.

Who's going to see Marc Broussard? Yeah, that's right. Me! :D Get tickets if you can. it's at Park Center in Chicago on July 7th.

My life was black and white until you came around
So baby come around, keep on comin' around
I didn't know wrong from right, til' you came around
So baby come around, please keep comin' around

There is nothing like the light of you
You amaze me with the things you do
I'll do anything you want me to
Don't ever leave me alone



Baby you can use me
any way that you enjoy
You know how to groove m
I'm dancing like a little boy
You do something to me
I just want to lay you down
Any time of place so come around

My life was full of doubt til' you came around
So baby come around, keep on comin' around
I'd never been so turned out until you came around
So baby come around, please keep coming around

-Marc Broussard
"come around"

aaaahhhh!!! :D

Hello world, how are you?

I'm getting better. There isn't really much to get better from...just mixed emotions, really. To all of my friends, and thank you for putting up with all the crazy/weird/annoying shit i do. i love you all more than you know.



I kind of want to sleep outside tonight.

why do i feel like such an idiot?

proabably because i was talking tonight. i don't even know what i was talking about. so if i was talking to you, and was just saying random meaningless crap, i apologize. that and if i spit on you. i'm always paranoid about that.

i'm also sorry if you saw my ass, at any point during the night. it was hard to manage myself around all the benches and whatnot in that dress.

I feel giddy, and happy and exicted, and like something posistively wonderful, and completely unexpected is going to happen soon. But i can't tell if it's because of the book i just read, or because something is really going to happen.

I hope to god it's the latter.
is it bad that i always prepare myself for disappointment?

My God, do i need some adventure. being here gives me too much time to think about all the ways i feel, which is too much. i am feeling to much. which really just equals bad. I need to meet some new people. Not that i don't love every one i know now, i am just in desperate need of something different.

***

Gather Yourself

Gather yourself by the seashore
and I will love you there

Assemble yourself with wild things
with songs of the sparrow and seafoam

Let mad beauty collect itself
in your eyes and it will shine, calling me

For I long for a man
with nests of wild things in his hair

A man who will kiss the flame

-Jewel

i can't tell what i am thinking about anymore. or at least what i want to be thinking about. there's so much going on in my head that it's hard to sort things out. everything is just jumbled up and i almost have no idea what i am doing anymore. I can't stick with a book anymore because i always end up just looking at the words with no thought about what they are actually saying. i don't know what's wrong with me. i feel like nothing i have to say matters, and when i do say something it just ends up being mindless chatter, i hardly even know what i am saying anymore. i wish i had something meaningful to say. i'm starting to feel like i don't have my own opinions anymore. i know who i am, and what i am, and where i am going in life for the most part, but i'm a pretty easily influenced person, and i feel like i'm losing who i really am, and turning into a mixture of everyone else i know. i don't know what or who i feel like, but i don't feel like cavya.

I'll wait, and I'll sit and watch the clouds as they go by.

I had forgotten how nice it is to take some time and appreciate the simple things in life...going on long walks with your friends, playing tag with little kids, tire swings, laying around and staring at the clouds...

giant winged blue dragons.

"Under the peach trees
There I will be,
Until you come and get me"

-Rufus Wainwright



i'm feeling very peaceful today...

Well, i'm somewhat better than i was before, but i'm still confused. well. i will have to figure it out for myself. there is no other way around it.

Beauty and the Beast is going pretty well, i am excited.

I am doing SOS and verse for speech, i am also excited about that.

My summer has been going by really slowly. i like it. i hope it stays like this. I'm going to Hawaii at the end of July...i love hawaii, i'm really excited about it.

I still wish that i could see more of my friends from school...so, call me. okay? okay.

Using the Guardian as a shield,
to cover my thighs against the rain,
I didn't mind about my hair.
Your jacket may be waterproof,
but knowing the moment you get home
you're gonna get your trousers changed.
Failure is always the best way to learn,
retracing your steps 'til you know,
have no fear your wounds will heal.
I wish I could travel overground
to where all you hear is water sounds,
lush as the wind upon a tree.
I wish I could travel overground
to where all you hear is water sounds,
to capture and keep inside of me.
Failure is always the best way to learn,
retracing your steps 'til you know,
have no fear your wounds will heal.
Failure is always the best way to learn,
retracing your steps 'til you know,
have no fear your wounds will heal.

-Kings of Convenience
"Failure"

Well, my troubles are over, though it didn't end quite the way i wanted it to, and i still don't know the cause. But hey, things rarely end the way you want them to, it's called life.

Now i am out to have a freakin kick ass summer, and fit in all the crazy fun and adventures that i possibly can in.

So, if you're looking for fun, call me up, bitches!

looks like tomorrow will be another day of feeling like shit. because no one ever does what they should, or what they say they are going to.

I don't know what to do with myself. i'm kind of a wreck, and the one person who needs to notice,

won't.

alright.

i know what i need to do. i know what i need to say.

now it's just a matter of whether or not i can do it.

but i guess i don't really have a choice.

Yesterday was the best way that i could have hoped to start summer. It was perfect. I spent the day by the pool in the warm summer sun with some of my favorite people, then i spent the night with my drama babes and we had a...bake sale.

On a completely unrelated(really, it might as well be a seperate post, i was actually going to make it a different post, but i was too lazy) and slightly worse note:

There are so many things i want to say. So many things that need to be said, but i can't. And the worst part is that i can see it all perfectly in my head. i have exactly what needs to be said planned out. but i can't do it. this is all i can think about, it's eating away at my thoughts.

i just need to take care of that one thing, and all will be well in the world of cavya.

well, i was going to put a picture up here to make this post exciting, but...it didn't work out. so, i guess i will just have to tell you.

The cast list went up for B&B...and i'm Babette! It's one of the two parts i wanted, and i'm super excited!!! It's such a freaking fun part, and most likely my costume will be uber sexy. I hope so, because that's half the fun. Ahhh! I'm so excited! :D This show is going to be so good! I highly advise that you go see it, July 13, 14, and 15, at east. Okay? Okay. Otherwise i might have to unleash Mr. T. on you, and none of you want that, i'm sure.

I pity the fool!

I am not a very patient person, and I've been trying really hard to wait this out and be patient, because I know that's the right thing to do, but I don't know how much longer I can wait.

I think I might actually have an aneurysm. I think I'm going crazy.


...I guess im just going to have to keep waiting. will power, cavya! will power! well maybe not will power. I guess just patience.

What does it mean?!?

Hey boys (or girls, pretty much anyone) out there:

What the fuck does it mean when a guy barks at you?! Like, WOOF!, barking. Not, "Lookin' good!" or "can i get your number?" WOOF. WTF?!?!


How do you reply to that? Thank you? I'm flattered? No thanks?...bark back?


I am baffled.


If you happen to know what on earth this could mean, please comment. I would really like to know. really.